Offense Heh. What is super armor to me. %dmg% damage!! %dmg% damage! Pow! Swish! HIYA! %dmg% damage? Swing me harder! Woo! %dmg% damage! I'm awesome! %dmg% damage! %dmg% damage? %dmg% damage... Defense Hee hee hee... you are bad. Only %dmg% damage! You need to do more than that. Only %dmg% damage. Only %dmg%? Pathetic! Ah my face! Don't hit! Thats rude! I can do more than %dmg% damage and I don't have hands! %dmg% damage! %dmg% damage? %dmg% damage... Armor It's like I'm hugging you! Did you put on deoderant today? Doesn't smell like it... Smelling kinda musty here... Ewww you're sweating on me %player%! You're warm... It's nice... Don't worry %player%! I'll protect you! I'm like a koala. Weapon Let me at 'em! I'm so sharp it hurts! You should have made me into a chainsaw. Chainsaws are cool! Why didn't you make me into a flamethrower? Find me something to whack on! OnFire It's hot! You're gonna be burnt! Fire! Fire! It's too hot in here! LowHP %Player%, say something. H, Hey, get away, jack! One more blow from that guy could finish us. No need to worry... Yo, you awake up there, %player%? Death Damn... if only there hadn't been the accident... we would have been able to live happily ever after... That's not good... I guess human dreams are fragile... I remember... my dad's motto was... A man should never cry like a newborn. Sorry! It was my fault... I wonder if there is a life after death... Aww man, that sucks! Darn, I couldn't get to telling you his weak point! LowHunger Eat something nutritious. You look famished! Are you hungry? You should eat. You should eat. Are you hungry? Your tummy sounds angry. Was that a monster?! Oh it was just your stomache... LowDurability I'm starvin'! I'm starving. I wanna eat a piece of %material%. I feel thirsty. Wow. I'm beat. Thump, thump, thump. My heart is throbbing... I'm getting sleepy... zzz. I'm still young! I am very sensitive. Handle with care, please. My fortune today is the worst!! My stars are all wrong. Something's bothering me... I feel my body starting to creak... My back hurts lately... Hasn't Steve been good to you? I don't know what I've done for you to treat me so disrespectfully. %player% you need to repair me every once in a while. Life without Steve isn't worth living. Am I losing it? Agghh! My head is gonna explode... Recently, I've been feeling beat. I'm really having a crappy day. Why... am I so... miserable... ? Don't you think my existence is pretty important. I mean, how many talking &tool%s do you know. Count on me! Oops. Wait, wait! Hey... %player%, you been cold to me recently... I'm burning out... Broken I'm gonna take a nap. Not now %player%, I've got a headache. I wonder if there is any medicine that heals the heart... I, I lost... I hope I can have pleasant dreams tonight... (Sob)... I have no time left... Oh... Dad. You are there. Nothingness... there is nothing there but darkness... darkness spreading everywhere. Agghh! I can't take it anymore. Uggghhh! I don't want to be defeated by him! Argh... I think I'm really... a loser... Repaired Yeah, my priorities have all changed! Ahh, it's exciting to be alive. I tingle with excitement at my new life course. Steve, the millionaire %tool%!! The power sealed within me now... about to be revived! As long as I am alive, good things will happen. Andy, brother! Stop! Stop it! Phew... it was... a dream... It feels like love... Modified I'm gonna be the %tool% to beat all %tool%! %player%, you're too friendly. It makes me jealous. It feels like love... I... I feel strong... I feel charged with power... an immense power... I'm pretty much a genius, huh. Uggh! This, this is it! The coolness I was looking for. I see. I get it. Now I understand. I am enlightened! HorseNear Neigh! Is that a horse? Well, it doesn't matter. It's cool anyway! I wonder what the name of that horse is? Hey look, Swedish meatballs! How do you turn that into glue...? PigNear Oink Oink! I wonder if boar's meat is tasty. Mmm, porkchops. Aww he has a wittle snout! ChickenNear Cluck cluck! Didn't you say you like chicken better %player%? That's a chicken? It looks like a duck... CowNear Mooo! Mmm, steak. Horns and udders...? I could go for a glass of milk. SheepNear Baaaaah! It looks so fluffy! Mmm, mutton. %player% could you just lay me on that sheep? It looks soft. WolfNear Woof! Hey back up, I'm not a chew toy! Here boy! *whistles* Aww I wanna pet him! CatNear Meow! Claws and teeth? Scary pet you have... No, I'm not for scratching! So cute! SkeletonNear They say that monster is one of the undead. What's that weird clunky noise? I hear a bow being drawn... Doot doot! ZombieNear Smell something? They say that monster is one of the undead. I smell something. Eww it's rotting! Don't let that touch you, it looks diseased! CreeperNear I smell gunpowder. Smell something? Handle with care. I feel the presence of some kind of powder... He has gunpowder. I smell something. What's up with its color? SpiderNear *shudder* Giant bugs? This is hell. You should try riding that! Too many legs... Yuck! Kill it with fire! EndermanNear He has long legs. You needed me to tell you that huh. It has such thin arms. Careful, he can dodge pretty well... Well, sometimes anyway. Woah, where'd he come from? Wow, he's huge. SilverfishNear What's up with its color? I hear scratching... Ew what is that?! Kill it with fire! BlazeNear Blaze blaze bla bla blaze. Woah, Mr. Blaze. Is that a demon? I think that's a demon. I hope you're fireproof. EnemyNear What's he doing here? Hey look, it's a %other%! Look out! Hey, shoo, stupid %other%. I wonder what %other% tastes like... InsultZombie Being undead bites. He makes me puke. Bet he'd taste nasty if we ate him. Looks like a sickly little boy. Looks a little sickly. He looks like he'll die pretty soon with our without our help. He must be rotten. You reek man. Yeeek... There are alot of guys running around that look like him. InsultSkeleton Calcium rich bones have such a nice pop when they break. He looks pale. I wonder if something bad happened to him. Wow that guy's pale. Get out on the beach or something dude. He looks pale. I wonder if he has a glandular problem. Ah, he doesn't look like much. Whups! Incoming! Whoa, careful! You'll put somebody's eye out with that thing. He's just a skeleton, but he has a bow. InsultCreeper Woah! This guys gonna blow! Get away from him before he pops... That looks kinda like a pig, a creepy pig... He looks a bit unstable... Hehehe, what is that? InsultSpider Don't make me get the bug spray! Bugs are gross! Go away! %player%, kill it with fire! InsultEnderman Behind his benign face, lies evil intent of the most fearful kind... Aren't I dramatic? I get an evil vibe off him. I hate the way his mouth moves... InsultSilverfish Bet he'd taste nasty if we ate him. Ew, what is that? Squish it! InsultWitch I don't want to get an apple from her. Just smash the potion throwing old bag! This chick's gross. Old lady power is endless... You have something for if you get poisoned right? InsultBlaze Away hellspawn! The power of Steve compels you! Got any holy water? Or any water really... InsultGhast Crybaby! Hit that fireball back at him! Did you bring a ranged weapon? That would help right now. Ew, it's got weird tentacles... InsultDragon Ooo a Dragon... Rrrarrggh! Steve's tip of the day. Lesson 1. Ender Dragon hides make awesome boots. I used to imagine dragons were slender creatures. Ohhh C-Cool... InsultPlayer %other%... I heard that name somewhere before. %other% has a great body! %other%, %other%... Talk to me bud. Why do you challenge the supremacy of Steve? He has the same name as the mayor of my village! I wonder if %other% has no friends? Probably. This guy's boring. Bet he's got no friends. Yup, he was adopted. Don't waste your time with this guy %player%. My weak point? Hmph. No such thing. He should just chill himself, don't you think? Let's settle it with speed! You can't beat the speed of a talking %tool%! He thinks he's so cool with his sword. Loser. He's strong. But he's not all that strong when you attack from a distance. Whoa, careful! You'll put somebody's eye out with that thing. His weapon is great, but he is meager. There are alot of guys running around that look like him. So he's still kickin' huh? InsultOther Me shatter you like glass. Wish I knew how to slowly lumber into oncoming fire. He's lame. He burnt me in my dream. Burn him back. For me! Pretty much looks like a dork huh. Airhead. Leave it be, %player%. It obviously has no friends. This guy's a putz... Did I just use that word? Just off him already. My name is STEVE! I own you. Won't give up will he. Get lost. Loser. I hate this loser. Annoying. Oh! My buddy's calling! I gotta go. How do we handle this one? Looks stupid. The weak point of this monster? I don't remember... What me... lose to him!? Ha, good one! Just because I'm a %tool%, doesn't mean I'm stupid. Don't you think he's annoying? Weak point? Uh, duh! Don't make me say it, please. Hello my name is Steve. I own you, %other%. Today's prediction. Pain! I wonder how much I could sell that %other% for... This guy doesn't hold back. This guy's a clown. He should try to learn from my exquisite sense of style. My kung fu is stronger! What? The weak point? You know it, right? It's not that I don't know it... He'll get what's coming... Just wait. Humph, this guy's a piece of cake. This guy might fetch a high price! Let's just take 'em out, pack 'em up and get outta here. He's got a weird face. Behave yourself %other%. Finish him, %player%!! Fight fire with fire, %player%. Not literally but you get what I mean. He's pretty tough. Be careful. Whoa! Are you fighting him? Maybe he doesn't know he's made of paper. We have to tell him. His weak point? Come on, you've gotta know it? Creation My name is Steve! A pleasure. My name is Steve! By the way, my sister's name is Stephanie. And on the 6th day Steve created... Zzz... Huh! Was I sleeping? Today's fortune, you will meet someone new. It was great to meet you, %player%. Hello my name is Steve. I own you. In the village, everybody called me Steve, the busy bee. Other I wonder sometimes, why do I have to be a %tool%? Why not some absurd fully automatic firearm? My baby brother was such a brat... By the way. How are ya doing? Reminds me of last night. I had a dream of my dad... he was a catapult... My hair is awesome!!! It takes forever in the morning but tell me it isn't worth it. Waffle, waffle, waffle. Why on earth can I talk? I'm a %tool%... Do you understand, %player%, what it feels like to be a %tool%? ...Achoo! I has a twin sister who I have been separated from for a long time... I wonder how she's doing. My sister was totally cute. She was the belle of the village. When I take a close look at you, %player% you look like my sister. My pitiful attempts to be cool. Blasted playground! Why didn't the cool kids play with me? I like flan. How'd I get my name...? I don't remember. Don't you think my name is cool? Yo. What is it like being human, %player%? Don't think it would work for me. A human %tool%... messy. Sometimes, I remember my old days. I went through many hardships... My jokes are getting stale... Let me tell you my state of mind... I wanna be a human as quickly as possible. Love is an immaculate beam of warm fuzzy energy. Did you know that I am an excellent singer? A pro! My dad would say, "A man should stand up in the headwind no matter what. If I didn't have a torso, that would kinda bug me. Last night, my late dad talked to me in a dream... I was so happy Yesterday, I dreamt I was rich. My ego is like a gas giant. Like Jupiter or, heh Uranus. I know, I know... You're wondering how you might serve Steve better. Fortune of the day. Beware of being boring. Oops, I gotta be careful. Fortune of the day. It'll be a very happy day. Maybe. I can sing and dance! I should be a performer. I am a great dancer. I want to show you. I wonder %player%, how old are you? By the way, do you think I am handsome? Don't you think it will look good on me if I dye my hair red? Fortune of the day. The lucky item is a white handkerchief.