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[fortune-cookie] you will buy a new set of clothes
you will be hit over the head with a piano falling from a [ordinal] floor window
you will be audited by the irs
you will be audited by the irs because of your activity in the [org-political]
you will be help hostage by the radical [org-political]
you will be run over by a [bus]
you will find yourself as the victim of a bizzare practical joke
you will contract a rare form of [last-name] 's disease
you will grow fat and bald
you will lose your present job and have to become a [job]
you will run for public office and only recieve [half-digit] % of the vote
your spouse will eventually find out about you-know what
you will accidentally run over your neighbor's pet [animal] and be sued for [half-digit] million dollars.
you will arrive late at work only to realize that it's a federal holiday
you will write a perl script to spit out random text
your family will grow suspicious of your newly acquired tattoo
you will recieve a promotion, only to be terminated a month later by failing a random drug test
you will spend the next [weekday] days fighting a flaw in a microsoft product
you will become the leader of the [org-political]
you will lose your job because of your involvement in the [org-political]
you will find the perfect joke to play on your [relative] on april fool's day, only to discover that it's actually april 2nd
your television will explode while the [big-game] is on
you will recieve a [digit-no0] [digit] [digit] , [digit] [digit] [digit] [bill-type] bill by mistake
you will find a counterfeit [counter-bill] bill on the ground
you will discover that everybody really is out to get you
you will become successful in business -- unfortunately, that business will violate the laws of [state-num]
you will inherit [swamp] acres of worthless swampland from your relative
along with [half-digit2] billion cockroaches, you will be the only survivor of world war II
you will save the world -- Bob's Auto World that is
you will move into a mobile home park and then a tornado will strike the very next day
you will set a record high golf score
a black cat will run across your path today, but thankfully you aren't superstitious (at least not until you get run over by a bus this evening
the engine in your [vehicle] will explode precisely [digit] . [digit] seconds after your warranty expires
while on a business trip to [real-city] you will get lost and wind up in [real-city]
you will shoot your eye out with a BB gun, just as your mother said you would
you will run out of gas on Interstate [interstate-num] in the vicinity of nowhere, [us-state] , population [low-num]
your website will be hit with the dreaded slashdot effect, causing your webserver to die a painful death
you will be abducted by aliens and taken to the secret planet [random-name] [roman-num] for extensive probing
you will become the editor for a tabloid newspaper
pragma initial-rule [fortune-cookie]
pragma range-rule half-digit 1 5
pragma range-rule weekday 2 7
pragma range-rule states 40 80
pragma range-rule swamp 40 80
pragma range-rule half-digit2 5 9
pragma range-rule interstate-num 4 99
pragma range-rule low-num 1 25
[vehichle] car
truck
suv
minivan
[bus] cross-town bus
beer truck
police car
[big-game] super bowl
world series
big game
[bill-type] hospital
car repair
credit card
[counter-bill] 3
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